Owning Up

We all make mistakes.   The Bible is clear about this.   In Romans we are told, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)   Earlier in this chapter, quoting various passages from the book of Psalms, the apostle Paul reminds his reader that "there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:12)  This is true of every person.  This is also true of every church leader. 

In this current series of articles we have been looking at eight often-overlooked characteristics that effective church leaders share.¹  Today we will consider how effective church leaders are willing to own up to their mistakes.  They take responsibility for their sins.  They are not like the person who said, "The only time I've been wrong is when I once thought I was wrong."  They are human, and they know it.  And they own up to their mistakes.   

Confession is good for the soul.  This old Scottish proverb is deeply rooted in Biblical teaching.  In Psalm 32 David admits that when you have done something wrong, something sinful, silence in not the answer.   He said, "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long." (Psalm 32:3)  When you have made a mistake, the antidote is not silence; it is confession.   Again David writes, "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.  And you forgave the guilt of my sin." (Psalm 32:5)  We don’t confess our sins so that God can find out something about us that he doesn't already know.  We confess our wrongdoings so that we can hear them for ourselves.  Through confession we own up to our mistakes, our sins.  When we own up to our wrongdoings to God, we experience the forgiving and empowering grace of Christ. (See Romans 5:15; 1 Timothy 2:5-6)  

Now godly church leaders would not disagree with the importance of owning up to one's sins to God through confession.  This discipline of confession is part of the normal Christian life.  For all Christ followers, including church leaders.  But confession must not just be seen as a private matter between an individual and God.  It is also something that we are to practice with one another.  The Bible puts it like this:  "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another..." (James 5:16)  As a church leader, when was the last time you admitted to someone, "I blew it; I was wrong"?   As a pastor or church staff member, when was the last time you admitted to your church, or to your session/church council that you have made a mistake?  That you sinned?

Owning up to our mistakes is not an easy thing to do.   Especially in the church.   Even more difficult for church leaders.  We often view the church as a community of saints (1 Corinthians 14:33) and forget that we are just as much a fellowship of sinners. (Romans 3:23)  As Richard Foster writes:  "We feel that everyone else has advanced so far into holiness that we are isolated and alone in our sin....  Therefore we hide ourselves from one another and live in veiled lies and hypocrisy." (Celebration of Discipline)  What brings an end to all this pretense is the discipline of confession, of being churches and church leaders that can openly confess their frailty to one another, owning up to any mistakes.

Here are three reasons why owning up to your mistakes is good for your leadership in the church.  First, it will build trust and earn respect.  See, as church leaders, in everything, we are "to set an example by doing good and to teach with integrity." (Titus 2:7)  Integrity marked Jesus' ministry and teaching. (Mark 12:14)  As a church leader, when you own up to your mistakes, apologize for any wrongdoing, and work toward making things right, people will see that you practice what you preach.  You don't only talk the talk, but you walk the walk.  Owning up to your mistakes shows your honesty.  When you are honest, it shows you have integrity.  Instead of losing trust, you will build trust and earn respect.  

Second, it will help you learn from your mistakes.  You will never learn from your mistakes if you will not own up to your mistakes.  You will not overcome sin if you do not acknowledge your sin.   And if you don't learn from your mistakes, you most likely will repeat them.  Far too many church leaders have fallen into grievious moral failures simply because they did own up to their sin.  They were unwilling to admit fault or weakness.  My best friend in Canada gave me some advice decades ago that still resonates with me as a church leader.  He said, "If you fall, fall forward!"  In others, you will make mistakes in life and in ministry, but learn from them.  Don't repeat them.  This is the power of confession.   As Augustine once said, "The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works."  Owning up to your mistakes helps you fall forward. 

Third, it will strengthen relationships.  Over the years I have counselled countless people in shattered relationships.  Marriages.  Friendships.  Churches.  Neighbours.   The one advice I gave them, more than other advice that helped, was simply for each person to own up to their part of the breakdown in the relationship. Don't focus on the other person's faults.  Look at yourself.  Own up!   When people are able to admit fault, and acknowledge to others their role in the current health of the relationship, this often leads to reconciliation and restoration.  Owning up results in the strengthening, not shattering, of relationships.  As a church leader, do you want to see a healthy relationship with others in the church?  Don't focus on others.  Their faults.  Be quick to admit your own fault, own up to mistakes, and be committed to do whatever it takes to build up the body of Christ. (Ephesians 4:16)  Owning up helps you grow, and grow up, as a leader, and as a church.  Together!  

 ¹ The other characteristics we looked at are: effective church leaders listen to and obey the voice of God, are  forward looking, and have a can-do attitude.