Patience

In the church, getting things done always takes longer than you think. Change takes time. This is because change comes so hard for so many. Change is difficult for various reasons. People are often more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions. With any change comes a degree of uncertainty, and people become insecure in the face of the unknown. Old routines are disrupted. Learning new habits for some is difficult. Generally, people like to keep things the way they are. Or were. People find it hard to let some traditions cease. So, people settle for the status quo and resist change. What quality in yourself would help you as a leader grow a church that by nature resists change?

In this current series of articles we have been looking at eight often-overlooked characteristics that effective church leaders share.¹ In this article we will look at the characteristic of patience. Yes, patience. Not hurry but wait.

Perhaps this surprises you as a characteristic effective leaders share. When you think of leadership qualities you might think of things like communication, accountability, integrity, passion, motivation, innovation, delegation, and/or resilience. But patience? Well, it should not surprise you as a church leader to see patience on the list of qualities effective leaders share. As followers of Jesus, Christians are urged to be “clothed with patience.” (Colossians 3:12) Patience is numbered among the fruit of the Holy Spirit, a demonstration of God’s life inside of us. (5:22; see also Hebrews 6:12) When Paul speaks about how love needs to mark our lives, patience is listed first as the evidence of love. (1 Corinthians 13:4) We are reminded that Jesus had “unlimited patience”, and this is an example we ought to emulate. (1 Timothy 1:16) When the apostle Paul instructs Timothy how to pastor a church he reminds him that patience was a quality that marked his ministry (2 Timothy 3:10). And he tells Timothy to exercise his ministry with great patience. (2 Timothy 4:2)

What is it about patience that makes it an essential quality that church leaders should aim for? Well, the word “patience” in the Bible has the connotation of “suffering long”. Every pastor or church leader can tell you of the pushback by church members in response to their teaching, leading, or implementation of new ideas or change. At best, this pushback comes as constructive criticism; at worst, there is anger, harsh words, and personal attacks. Ministry can be drenched in tears. Leading a church requires that leaders learn how to suffer long, even face attacks to their ministry. If you truly desire to move an individual or a whole church into greater obedience to Christ, as a church leader you will need to wait through any resistance that might be there. Timing is everything. John Maxwell, in his book, The Winning Attitude, points out that:

• The wrong decision at the wrong time = disaster
• The wrong decision at the right time = mistake
• The right decision at the wrong time = unacceptance
• The right decision at the right time = success.

In one of the churches I served, as church leaders we had a raft of initiatives that we wanted to implement in the church over the next 2-3 years. These were right decisions resulting from much prayer, study of God’s Word, and reviewing healthy church practices. But we faced massive resistance by the church to each and every initiative. Instead of pushing these initiatives through in a hurry, we waited. Patiently we kept sharing vision and teaching the congregation what a healthy church looked like. Slowly, one by one, each and every initiative was implemented. Not in 2-3 years, but over 10 years. At times we went 3 steps forward only to go 2 steps backwards. That required great patience. But it was worth it! Each time we gained a step forward. Rather than unacceptance of any movement we began to see success. And the church was healthier for it. While as leaders we might have struggled in the beginning, we discovered the truth a preacher once said, “The end of a matter is better than the beginning, and patience is better than pride.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8)  At times we simply need to wait for a better ending.  This will require leaders to swallow their pride.

What churches need are leaders who have much patience. To see movement in the lives of others requires time. With patience church leaders can break through any resistance. As Solomon stated so clearly, “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” (Proverbs 25:15) This is the path that wise leaders take: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience.” (Proverbs 19:11) Effective leaders are not quick to hurry things along. They use wisdom and wait. They exercise great patience.

How can you as a church leader cultivate patience in your life and ministry?  Kevin Harney, in his book co-authored with Bob Brouwer, The U-Turn Church, suggests a number of things I have found helpful to grow patience as a leader.  He suggests to keep your eyes on Jesus.  As he writes, "When verbal bullets fly, when stares feel like daggers, and dear friends act mean spirited, look to Jesus.  Fix your eyes on Him.   Remember that he suffered for your sake.  Then press on."  In addition, keep inviting people into the adventure.  "Don't assume that just because someone has resisted for the first year that they will never get on board.   Some of the greatest advocates and most faithful workers will be people who resisted at first.  Make a point of creating on-ramps for the vision [of your church] as often as possible."   Also, seek wise counsel.  Effective leaders never travel alone.  They surround themselves with people of great wisdom and passion who can offer encouragement when the going gets tough.  Finally, remember that you are in good company.   As Harney writes, "Don't be surprised when you face resistence.   Don't be shocked that there will be battles along the way.  Don't give up.  Don't become hardhearted; stay soft."  Remember that Jesus suffered long.   Remember his followers, as recorded in the New Testament, suffered long.  You are in good company.   So suffer long.  Be patient!

  ¹ The other characteristics we looked at are: effective church leaders listen to and obey the voice of God, are forward looking, have a can-do attitude, and they own up to mistakes.